生命中的最舍不得 .

很久没更新了,
期间脑里充满了想法.
．
一直都很想写一些东西,
但是却偏偏写不出来.
．
究竟是自己不够狠心?
还是太过执着?
．
既然你已选择放弃,
为何我还在在乎那些承诺?
．
伤害所造成的烙印,
依然感觉痛楚和清晰可见.
．
我曾尝试过不把它当作一回事,
但是原谅我真的无能为力.
．
借醉消愁不能了事,
隔天醒来问题依然还在.
．
我真想学会自私自利,
不顾及他人感受.
．
我从不曾怪你,
却经常在埋怨自己.
．
我不知怎么了.
是病了吗？
会痊愈吧？
．
可知你是我生命中最舍不得．
我会学着放弃你，
是因为我太爱你．
．

i wish , i hope , i expect . but nothing .

things doesn't seems so good..
it's back again..
or it never been fade away since that very 1st day ?
shall we practice to expect ?
what if they never happen ?
then what should we do ?
i seems wished to fall into the well again..
even tho i feel that it might be endless bottom this time..
but i'm not afraid..
because i'm prepared to get drawn..
at least i could prove something..
or should say we make an opportunity..
so, will u give me a hand ?

很爱很爱你.

很爱很爱你
所以愿意
舍得让你
往更多幸福的地方飞去.
.
Crap !!
1st, i am not a bird neither she.
2nd, i ain't snake.
i am a human with warm blood.
.
bloody hell lyrics..
情情爱爱毋搞我, 我努力揾钱好过.
毋爱情唔会饿死, 毋钱肯定会饿死.
放我一马, 我已经好累.
请帮我跳过这一幕.

most familiar stranger .

....................i don't remember since when,

..................i dare not look into your eyes anymore..

................you start treating me politely..

..............you never want to talk to me..

............you never laugh on my humors..

..........you never want to share good news with me..

........you never want to reply my messages nor emails..

......every steps that you'd made would only forcing yourself..

....you can stop that as i know it's hard for you to do so..

..just let me do it by myself, that would be easier for you..

.

.....................probably since the day,

.....................we are now the most familiar stranger..

.

would u read about this ?

life is getting miserable..

too much things happened recently..

yet, there's more to come..

i wonder if there will be any good one ?

yea, there will be one,

at least one after this..

because it's the beginning of the bad..

.

still remember all the things that you had said to me..

indeed,

very clearly in my mind i would said..

but are they going to come true ?

perhaps..

because reality is always cruel..

you even might not remember what you had said to me i guess..

.

maybe i'm one of the silly person who's going to extinct soon..

who would insist to keep promises towards others and always hope the same in return..

extinct animal are valuable,

but extinct human don't even worth for a cent..

i shall never do something like that anymore to anyone..

unless if it's you..

.

i think you won't even will read about this..

just,

if there's a day you feeling tired and don't wish to walk anymore,

u may come over to me,

and we'll go further together..

don't forget that my promises is still counting as long as i'm alive..

i'm sure you would know where am i..

.

bless >*

.

nightmare .

sometimes,

.

some silly and unlogic nightmare in this reality would

just kicked your sexy ass up from the middle of nite..

.

that is when u feel your heart pumping faster than usual,

sweating cold sweats, feeling hot even if u're sleeping in a refrigerator..

.

then u would wish there's someone beside

u wish to let u hugging each other tightly..

.

and u would try to get back to sleep but u hardly sleep

anymore as millions of things turning up in your mind..

.

therefore, u start rolling from left to right,

up to down, upside down to backside down,

or even start doing stretching exercises on your bed..

.

i had too much recently..

.

please don't push her..

u can take me..

just leave her alone..

please...

.

etc .

lunch at sushi zanmai one utama..

Potato Mayo

Tempura Mori

Ebi Temari

Tekka Don

getting bored with their menu..

will go back to pasta zanmai for the next visit..

then dinner at brisik jaya one..

serving local and indonesian delicacies..

colorful interior,

yet more to improve..

lousy music..

Dory Fried Rice

food doesn't really taste good..

wrinkled table cloth..

poor services..

only the colours impressed me..

then went over to chulo cafe for beer session..

Beers

Croquetas de Pollo

deep fried minced chicken and mushroom ball..

worth for a try..

just sing..

Simon buzzed up for a drink during the evening..
pick up semuT and went for dim sum with Simon and Genie..
and they decide to go for singing session..
i ain't feeling good due to my sore throat..
but i still joined them for the fun since there were only 4 of us..

burrrp !
with Simon, the future HR manager..

as usual,
with the most celaka person in my life..
i think my life will be shortened after knowing her,
but still,
worth of it..
i lost my voice at the end..
how pity..

i'm not that drunk yet..
.

relaxing night..

had a night out with el and semut for a dinner at sushi zanmai one utama.. i can't recall when was the last time 3 of us hang out together.. 3 months back i guess ? when i came back from china..

gals looking at the menu..
we had quite a lot of food since 3 of us have fussy tummy..

Chawanmushi

Maguro Temaki

Soft Shell Crab Temaki

Unagi Yanagawa

this taste like herbal soup..

Kanimayo Yaki

Kani Mayo & Kani Corn Sushi

Soft Shell Crab Maki

Dragon Roll

Hotate Mentaiyaki

this taste horrible, to me..

Soft Shell Crab

we ordered all of the soft shell crab dishes..

i was worried about that i'm going to have a nightmare later on..

that tons of soft shell crab chasing after me at the beach..

finished our dinner around 10pm+ and we off to jaya1 for a drink..

the charles & keith stalker..

we made a brave decision to try at kissaten..

without any regret..

Kissaten means cafe

Edamame

el's favorite..

Paulaner Naturtrüb

all the way from germany..

nicest beer i ever had..

even the price is a lil costly, it's worth..

Häagen-Dazs

strawberry flavor..

we ordered 1 scoop but the lovely boss gave us another scoop foc..

Honey Lemon Soda

recommended beverage..

kinda refreshing..

Azuki Pumpkin Zenzai

glutinous rice and red bean paste in pumpkin sauce..

its level of sweetness just great..

.

tonight, i am not drunk..

not at all..

thanks gals..

=)

.

just hold your mug tight !!

so we had finally made a reunion at last thursday night..

incomplete group photo at apartment the curve..
and we had our second round at wabisabi located in ttdi plaza..
it was raining and maybe that's the reason why there weren't much people there.. anyway, we did heat up the ambience..

Cheers !!

Genie & Me

Jaz, and kenneth-s beside me..

things getting worse after playing with thumb master..
i saw fingers pointing all around..
i saw people vomitted..

tau fu aka gay fa & hendy
i saw people get closer than usual..
i saw people who was acting sober..

group photo..

i am responsible for what i did..
so i drank..

semut + me

i saw people stoned..

i saw stars turning around on my head..

i am drunk

i nearly bang into a tree..

because i was skiing in the heavy rain with my car..

thank god i'm still alive to get more drunk next time..

hahaha..

owh shit, i forgot to steal the pink cusion home..

damn it !!

.

.

i will keep you deep into my heart..

no matter how long it takes..

thank you..

.

it's raining "

it had been a while since i walked under the rain..

with an umbrella,

walking alone in the road under the heavy rain..

.

it's long , it's cold, and it's wet..

i feel tiny for no reason..

.

looking at the rain drops,

everything seems to be quiet at that moment..

.

listening to the rythems of the rain,

do you hear it ?

.

i heard..

i feel void..

.

a picture on the other day flashed into my mind,

a little boy playing swing alone in the empty and quiet playground..

.

he was smiling even he was playing with himself..

a strange feeling came into my heart..

.

i wonder...

.

.

what kind of rain,

what kind of night,

what kind of me,

would only made you missing me more ?

.

it's tired to hold an umbrella alone..

.

when would you see me drunk ?

.

i wonder...

.

let's continue drinking .

went to hartamas for supper with sonka + manga aka the baba cendol (what a weird nick he created for himself recently in msn)..

Rakuzen
been here for a few times..

into the menu..

waiting for food..

enjoying the tea..
and we had these..

sea eel rice box..

sizzling beef..

assorted seafood rice box..

soft shell crab roll..
then headed for 2nd round..

Cafe Chulo @ Jaya One
co-incidently saw you there having some event..

i lurrrve green bottles..

manga's master piece..
as i promised him to post this up..

2 down, 3 to go..
spot the blues..

looking for mushroom in the bucket..

while spending our time..

i lurrrve my friend..
but i'm still awake..
would u make me drunk please ?
.
owh,
i saw superman riding on a bike while i was on the way home..
i am not drunk, yet..
.